| p>Since my Mom's partial hip replacement surgery in | | | | technologies in the workplace. |
| late July she has reverted to her default position | | | | Resistance is often more easily recognized when |
| when she experiences tough times in various | | | | working with individuals than with groups, and is such |
| forms-"I want to die." "You know what I want. I | | | | a valuable place from which to get traction. In helping |
| want to be dead," is her mantra. In response, I have | | | | business coaching and personal coaching clients |
| used words to encourage her to want to live. I offer | | | | master the art of thriving in tough times, resistance |
| her something to look forward to, such as returning | | | | appears early on in the coaching relationship. |
| to her day enrichment program. I tell her that God | | | | After a week together with Mom, I was |
| will call her when he's ready for her to help all the | | | | gob-smacked when I recognized I was operating |
| people he has close and for now God wants her to | | | | from full on resistance. Here is what I did and the |
| help all the people who are alive. Indeed, when Mom | | | | results. |
| is less depressed she only thinks about helping others. | | | | - Action-After she repeated her mantra the night of |
| After seven days of our ping pong game of | | | | my recognition, I said, "Yes. That is how you feel. I |
| engagement, I realized I was hitting my head against | | | | have been responding to you from my perspective. I |
| the brick wall of resistance. | | | | don't have your perspective and don't have your life |
| How was my resistance to hearing Mom's mantra | | | | experiences. I understand and accept as best I can |
| serving her or myself? The exchange only reinforced | | | | from your perspective." |
| each of our positions, mentally, emotionally and | | | | - Outcome-I could feel her upper body relaxing, her |
| physically. I was not meeting her where she was. We | | | | voice was a bit fuller and I sensed she was calmer. |
| did not connect as well as usual. | | | | So was I. |
| For years as an organizational change consultant I | | | | Tip: Pay attention to when you find yourself working |
| worked with groups that were steeped in resistance | | | | to persuade someone or influence someone rather |
| to leadership change or technology change. | | | | than easily engaging in a conversation. Notice if your |
| Recognizing that resistance, naming it, spending time | | | | body is a bit tight from the waist up. Check in with |
| with it, exploring its benefits and costs and embracing | | | | yourself to discover if there is a pattern that |
| it were essential to moving through it and forward to | | | | resembles hitting your head against a brick wall. |
| acceptance of the new leadership team and new | | | | Experiencing any of these is a sign of resistance. |