| So, you want to fall in love? You are | | | | you have difficulty accepting and liking |
| certainly old enough and moving | | | | |
| | | | yourself, or if others frequently respond |
| well along your chosen career path. Many of | | | | negatively to you in your |
| your friends are either married | | | | |
| | | | interactions with them, then this is an area |
| or in committed relationships. You have | | | | you should begin work on. |
| grown weary of the singles sceneand the | | | | |
| solitary life. Therefore, you must be ready, | | | | Self-love is at the foundation of all |
| right?Not necessarily.So what is relationship | | | | healthy relationships.3. Are your past |
| readiness anyway? Exactly what it says. You | | | | relationships really in the past?If we don't |
| are | | | | get adequate closure on painful experiences |
| | | | issues from |
| adequately capable of handling the | | | | |
| commitment and challenges that a | | | | past relationships, we are at risk of |
| | | | bringing them into present and |
| healthy, intimate relationship requires.How | | | | |
| do you know if you are ready? What are the | | | | future relationships in order to relive and |
| characteristics you need | | | | resolve them.Therefore, it's important to |
| | | | know that you have dealt adequately with |
| to have or acquire in order to be ready for | | | | |
| true love?There are four primary areas that | | | | any significant hurt or loss and have |
| you should explore in order to assess | | | | learned from any dysfunctional |
| | | | |
| your present state of readiness.1. Take an | | | | dynamics you may have contributed to.If you |
| inventory of past traumas and related major | | | | find yourself slipping into unhealthy |
| issues.You should mentally review these and | | | | patterns in your thoughts or |
| honestly look at how well you | | | | |
| | | | Behaviors as they relate to others; stop, |
| have already addressed and resolved them.As | | | | identify, and then deal with |
| you work through each, ask yourself, "Is this | | | | |
| impacting me negatively | | | | that leftover issue.4. Do you know what you |
| | | | want from a relationship?We enter into |
| in my present life." Also explore with | | | | relationships for many different reasons and |
| yourself the possibility that the | | | | with many |
| | | | |
| issue could become problematic once you have | | | | different expectations. Knowing what yours |
| entered into an intimate | | | | are will help you to |
| | | | |
| relationship.If you believe that there are | | | | determine if this is the right relationship |
| things you have not yet adequately dealt | | | | for you.Too often we "choose" someone using |
| with, you | | | | an unconscious level of thought |
| | | | |
| need to go to work on these. If you are | | | | as our primary input. It is there that we |
| unsure, then they bear closer | | | | hold our deepest unmet needs, |
| | | | |
| examination. Consider utilizing resources | | | | fears and desires. Unfortunately, there is |
| such as therapy or joining a | | | | often a chasm between our |
| | | | |
| support group.An example of such issues can | | | | conscious and unconscious selves that keeps |
| include, but not be limited to; | | | | this information |
| | | | |
| emotional, physical or sexual abuse in | | | | "hidden" from our rational and thinking |
| childhood, parents' divorce, loss | | | | side.Therefore, it is very important to |
| | | | examine all of your feeling and needs |
| of a parent or other loved one, or a past | | | | |
| abusive or dysfunctional love | | | | regarding any future relationship. Honestly |
| | | | look at what you must have |
| relationship.2. How's your self-awareness | | | | |
| and self-esteem?If you do not possess | | | | and cannot live without.You must know what |
| adequate self knowledge and a positive sense | | | | you want and need from a future partner in |
| of self; an intimate relationship will be | | | | order |
| difficult or impossible to sustain.For | | | | |
| instance, do you know yourself well enough to | | | | to choose the right one for you.Now, spend |
| answer the following?Can you state your most | | | | some time exploring these four important |
| deeply held values?Do you know what you can't | | | | areas before you |
| live with or without in a relationship?Do you | | | | |
| have a good grasp of your life goals?Do you | | | | enter into a serious romantic relationship. |
| know your own strengths and weaknesses?Now, | | | | By doing so, you will be |
| do a quick assessment of your self-esteem.How | | | | |
| do you see yourself?How do others see | | | | helping to ensure that your new relationship |
| you?Remember you present different selves:at | | | | will be a healthy and |
| workwith familywith friendsin gatherings with | | | | |
| acquaintancesIf your answers tell you that | | | | lasting one. |