| We all know that there is a distinct | | | | She considers you insignificant; after all |
| difference between the way men and women | | | | you are just another woman. How could you |
| communicate in business. But what about woman | | | | possible be anyone of import?Let's explore |
| to woman communication? Who talks about the | | | | this mindset. Have you ever found yourself in |
| way women deal with each other in their | | | | a predominately male crowd with a few women |
| communications? It's not all that pretty and | | | | sprinkled throughout? Did you find yourself |
| proper like some would have you believe.I'm | | | | gravitating toward the men and ignoring the |
| always astounded when I read a feel good | | | | women? I have done that. Why with my vast |
| article that talks about women dealing with | | | | experience am I engaging in this behavior? |
| other women. You know all about the | | | | I've been conditioned. We all have! With so |
| mysterious women who have never had a | | | | few business women in the male dominated |
| problem, exchanged a cross word or damaged a | | | | business environment, I am forced to make |
| relationship. Where do these women live? In | | | | snap decisions about the women in the room. |
| La La Land.I have worked almost exclusively | | | | Why are they there? Are they any help? What |
| with women for 10 years and have encountered | | | | is their purpose? Given that they are a woman |
| almost every conceivable behavior both good | | | | too; can they be of any significance? Did I |
| and bad. I am bombarded with calls and emails | | | | scrutinize their appearance? You bet. I |
| every day that run the gamut. The repeating | | | | checked her out down to the last detail. |
| links that stand out are the lack of | | | | Interesting analysis, huh? That's what the |
| professionalism, support and empathy that is | | | | gate keeper is thinking about you!One |
| evoked from women.The simple truth is that | | | | unfortunate communication characteristic most |
| women's dealing with other women is a very | | | | of us have encountered from another woman is |
| complex connection. Many factors influence | | | | the one who delivers as the ugly green-eyed |
| our communication style some of which have | | | | monster: jealously. Consciously or |
| been inbred from when we were small children. | | | | unconsciously we evaluate and compare our |
| We can't change those influences now but we | | | | successes or failures with others in our |
| can pattern ourselves to think before we | | | | circle of acquaintances or even high profile |
| speak and work within the boundaries of | | | | women whole accomplishments we can never hope |
| shared experiences.Think of your | | | | to replicate. Making these assessments puts |
| communication in terms of the roles you play | | | | a slant on our communication style. If |
| in your relationships: businesswoman, | | | | someone is more successful r has a higher |
| confidant, wife, mother, friend, sister, | | | | profile, we automatically assume the worst. |
| boss, associate, colleague and so on. Each | | | | Our suspicious minds want to know how she got |
| character requires a different persona and | | | | there. We think she must be sleeping with the |
| different style of communication. Be prepared | | | | boss, have the goods on someone in the |
| to support that part in your communication | | | | company or is the "token" women (not to worry |
| style. Speaking gives you more ways to | | | | you are not alone men have these same |
| legitimize your communication context. If you | | | | thoughts too). Get over yourself! She won!! |
| are verbally communicating face to face, body | | | | Maybe you can't control the emotion but you |
| language, inflection, eye contact and (most | | | | can keep from interjecting the thoughts into |
| important) overall appearance can sway the | | | | the tenor of your conversation. Think before |
| recipient before you even open your | | | | you speak. Dispel any preconceived notions |
| mouth.Let's start by talking about how women | | | | about the person you are speaking to which |
| communicate. In our time crunched, | | | | might distort the message you are conveying. |
| stressed-out over-committed lives we rarely | | | | Engage some benign small talk while you |
| communicate in a proactive way. When we reach | | | | marshal your thoughts. Put yourselves on |
| out to other women, it's usually because we | | | | equal footing. It's an old saying, but it |
| need something (not because we are staying in | | | | resounds with truth: She puts her pants on |
| touch). Establishing a bond before you | | | | one leg at a time just like you do.Moving on, |
| actually need something will greatly increase | | | | what about the convenient non-communicator? |
| your chance of positive communication. One | | | | Have you ever had an associate who worked her |
| method I find highly successful is staying in | | | | way to the top of the company only to |
| touch through a weekly ezine that I write and | | | | disassociate herself with those at a lower |
| distribute. The ezine includes helpful tips | | | | level? I know such a person. She went so far |
| and information. When I send it, I'm not | | | | as to say to me, "I don't have time to |
| asking for anything. I'm working toward | | | | associate with any one not at my level on the |
| building a rapport and establishing a | | | | food chain." I've known this person a long |
| familiarity. The truth is that this will be | | | | time and until this she was just a regular |
| to my benefit at the time when I might need | | | | "gal." This phenomenon is much more prevalent |
| assistance. Whether the recipient reads my | | | | than you think. Psychologists named it |
| column or not, they get a weekly | | | | "drawbridge syndrome." You bring up the |
| communiqué that builds brand awareness of | | | | bridge behind you as you cross it and advance |
| who I am and what I stand for. One sure way | | | | up the corporate ladder. Don't let this |
| to build an affiliation that is not based on | | | | happen to you. Remember where you came from. |
| need is to send a person a note commenting on | | | | Be true to yourself and those who support |
| a job well done, an award, a promotion or | | | | you. Treat all women with equal respect no |
| other newsworthy event in their life. People | | | | matter how high you climb on the ladder to |
| love to be flattered and even the most | | | | success.A glaring problem with women's |
| hardened profession likes to be told she is | | | | communication is that on the receiving end, |
| making a difference.Along the same lines of | | | | we take everything personally. Whether it's |
| selfish communication comes from women who | | | | an unfavorable reply, a statement about a |
| want to do business with you. In my case, | | | | situation, or an issue to be resolved many |
| it's women who want to do business with me | | | | women take it as a personal affront. Wrong! |
| expect me to do all the work. They go to my | | | | What is happening is business. It may be good |
| website and find out all about me and become | | | | business practice and has nothing to do with |
| a star catcher. Well, this is annoying to me. | | | | you personally.Here are some successful |
| The fact is that when doing business you have | | | | methods to open a door for a long-lived |
| to be prepared to hold up your end. Get to | | | | relationship.- Get a referral from someone |
| the point immediately. Tell the receiver who | | | | who already knows you or is working with the |
| you are and what you can do for them - not | | | | person you are trying to foster. |
| what you expect them to do for you. Keep your | | | | Communication by word of mouth is a strong |
| communication benefits driven. Don't go in | | | | influencing factor among women. A referral |
| blind. The entire time you are communicating | | | | gives you instant credibility.- Ask for |
| with someone in business, they are thinking | | | | assistance or help with a project. Depending |
| WIIFM (what's in it for me).On this front, a | | | | upon the type of appeal you make will |
| reactive common communication issue is our | | | | influence your success rate. Make your |
| response when we hear from someone out of the | | | | request short and sweet with clear cut |
| blue who wants a favor. We know that they | | | | benefits to them with solid results. "You |
| came out of no where and want something, but | | | | will get X for your help."- Use humor. It |
| will never return the favor. Forget all that | | | | lightens the moment and softens the |
| hocus pocus about good deeds being returned. | | | | situation. This works well when you have |
| The plain and simple truth is that it doesn't | | | | committed a faux pas.- Make a clever, |
| work and that serves to build hidden | | | | interesting, or powerful statement. Remember |
| resentment. If someone asks a favor and you | | | | women are busy and multitasking. Capture |
| expect it to be returned, then communicate | | | | their attention with an important message.- |
| the trade up front. Call it reciprocity or | | | | When you receive or experience an unsavory |
| whatever you like. Just make sure the person | | | | communiqué, let it rest before you |
| understands the handshaking going into the | | | | respond. Women are notorious to come back |
| bargain.Email communication is doubly hard | | | | with clever repartee.On occasion, even the |
| because we all carry the baggage of | | | | great communicator still won't get it with |
| preconceived notions about a person's | | | | another woman. I recently sent a message to |
| message. This is the case even when we have | | | | my readers that was quite funny. 95% of the |
| never met them! We are judged by the written | | | | people thought it so and replied with that |
| language used to communicate. Spend time | | | | thought in mind. The other 5% let me know |
| carefully crafting your written | | | | that they thought the message abrasive, |
| communications. Would you be offended if some | | | | arrogant and condescending. The fact is that |
| one wrote the same thing to you? Is there | | | | you are never going to please ever woman you |
| something you would read into the message? We | | | | interact with. There are some women you will |
| have become notoriously lax in business | | | | never "connect with" despite your best |
| etiquette in our email correspondence because | | | | effort. My advice? Move on to the next |
| it's so easy to use. Before you hit that send | | | | relationship and put the unsuccessful one on |
| button, think about what you are writing and | | | | the back burner. Don't destroy it with a |
| how you are communicating it.One of the most | | | | nasty, condescending (responsive) |
| common written communication errors is to | | | | rebuttal.Above all think before you |
| either misspell or get someone's name wrong. | | | | communicate with another woman. Run the sound |
| For example, we may use Katherine instead of | | | | byte through your head before you open your |
| Catherine or Kathleen instead of Caitlyn. For | | | | mouth. How does it sound to you? Would you be |
| some unknown reason women freak out over this | | | | offended or antagonized if someone said the |
| misstep. Some of the nastiest messages I ever | | | | same to you? Is your connection on a deeper |
| received resulted from making this type of | | | | level? Do you clearly state a benefit? |
| simple error. If this happens to you, | | | | Remember it's not always what you |
| apologize and move on. If this mistake has | | | | communicate, but the method and manner in |
| soured the relationship, accept that nothing | | | | which you communicate it.Discover the easy |
| will salvage it.What about our covert | | | | way to make yourself stand out from others. |
| communication techniques? During my sales | | | | How to become an expert in your field; How to |
| days in calling on women in a decision making | | | | write a better resume; How to write a |
| role, I constantly ran into a brick wall with | | | | personal press release; How to accomplish |
| the gate keeper. Have you encountered this | | | | things no one else is doing and to get people |
| gate keeper? It is like Cerberus guarding the | | | | to think about you in ways they have not |
| inner sanctum. How frustrating is that when | | | | thought before and much more including |
| you know you have something of value to | | | | critical checklists for those important |
| offer? Seriously, we have all had the | | | | business meetings.This indispensable workbook |
| experience of trying to soothe or nurture | | | | will show you specific ways to accomplish |
| that bull dog guarding their master. And | | | | your personal branding goals and launch your |
| worst of all is the abrupt, abrasive, | | | | career into the stratosphere. We have done |
| antagonistic women that let's our male | | | | all the work for you with guidelines, cheat |
| counterpart waltz though the door.How do you | | | | sheets and easy-to-use templates to customize |
| overcome the sentinel posted between you and | | | | for your own use.So don't put off building |
| your mark? Simply put, you have to cultivate | | | | your brand any longer. Don't wait till your |
| the gatekeeper before you can engage in any | | | | associates get your promotion or raise or |
| meaningful dialogue. Why is this person so | | | | even a better job.Order Packaging Yourself |
| suspicious and wary of your intentions | | | | now @ you find that the strategies and |
| anyway? It is important to remember she is | | | | tactics in these materials don't work for you |
| protecting her turf. Her role is to keep out | | | | or in your business, we don't feel like we |
| unwanted persons from making it to the next | | | | should keep your money. We want you to try |
| level. Why does she consider you unworthy? | | | | them for 30 days with zero risk. |